Lagging Behind

I can get just so far with modern technology and then I crash painfully into the limitations of my age face first. This blog is a perfect example. I don't remember exactly when I started it but it's been a while, a couple years maybe. It is labelled a blog, but it isn't really, because blogs have pictures and links and videos and other neat little extras. What this is, is an electronic column. The same thing I've been doing for 30 years only on the computer instead of paper.

It's the same with my other technological possessions. I dip a toe into the 21st century and that's as far as I get. I use my fancy digital camera to take pictures. Okay, I've got that down, but I flunked my Photography for Beginners course, slinking out in shame after only two classes. So I don't add borders to my pictures, or shadows or captions. I don't enlarge them to poster size or shrink them to make my own postage stamps. I don't blend two photos into one. I don't create electronic albums to share with internet friends.

I make and receive phone calls on my cell phone. I've never checked a stock price or located myself on the earth via GPS. I've never texted or twittered. I've never set an alarm so I don't miss an appointment (I have a calendar in my purse that's quicker). I've never downloaded a ringtone or played a game. I did take a picture once, accidentally. It's a shot of my office floor, in case I ever want to remember what that looks like.

My latest venture into the wonderful world of technology involves my membership on Facebook. I was told by B. J. at the Courthouse that I had to join.

"Why?" I asked.

He explained that lots of people I knew were there - people from the Sheriff's Department and the Courthouse and the City Police, people I'd worked with and been friends with. It was a great way to stay in touch and keep up with the news. B. J. told me to open a Facebook account and then shoot him an e-mail. He'd send me an invitation to be one of his Friends. One thing would lead to another.

So, I did all that and sure enough, it was gratifying to get lots more notifications from people inviting me to be their friend and to have personal messages posted on my "wall". And it is fun to keep up on what everyone is doing now and what is going on in local government.

But once again, Facebook is making me feel inadequate. For one thing, there is an impersonal gray silhouette above my name where everyone else has pictures of themselves or their kids or their favorite cartoon characters or some symbol, like a badge, that represents them. I have no clue how to download (or is it upload?) a picture so I'll probably continue to be a silhouette for the foreseeable future.

I did participate in one of the little quizzes Facebook offers and discovered that if I was a hotel in Las Vegas, I would be the Bellagio. I'm not sure how important knowing that is in the scheme of things. In fact, I doubt it's validity. If I really was a hotel in Las Vegas, I'd probably be one of those older, shabbier ones - that some entrepreneur is looking at to buy and implode so a new sleek one can be built on my spot.

You can look up old classmates on Facebook but I haven't tried to do this. I attended 12 schools in 12 years. I don't have the energy to enter them all into Facebook's "Search" box.

In addition to individuals, you can look for Facebook Groups. I joined a Jimmie Johnson Fan Group. There seems to be a Group for every conceivable interest. I wonder if there an "Senior Citizens Falling Behind the Technology" Group?

Strange Standards

Jimmie Johnson is a nominee for ESPN's Male Athlete of the Year, called the ESPYs. His competition is Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and Michael Phelps. I doubt if Jimmie wins because his isn't a household name like NBA players and Olympics gold medal winners. But if the voters are looking, not just for someone outstanding in their sport, but outstanding as a role model for fans of those sports, especially young ones, Jimmie should get it hands down.

Consider Michael Phelps. Despite his spectacular achievements in the Olympics, Michael was photographed engaging in criminal activity, namely, puffing on a bong, at a college no less. And it's not that I'm even especially judgmental about smoking marijuana. I personally believe pot should be legalized. But the fact is, it's not. So Michael knowingly broke the law, in front of students who see him as someone to look up to and emulate. What he did has gotten other people thrown in jail and resulted in a criminal record. For me, that knocks him out of the competition.

Then we have Kobe Bryant, once accused of sexual assault. He did admit to adultery, although he claimed the sex was consensual. In the end, the alleged victim refused to testify so the prosecutor dropped the charges. I worked for a prosecutor's office. In my experience, most prosecutors don't bring charges unless they have some fairly convincing evidence (although admittedly, there are exceptions). Still, I believe it is more likely than not that Kobe coerced the girl to some extent. She ended up suing him civilly and an agreement was reached. Even if we only accept the adultery, it tilts Kobe off his pedestal, despite his extraordinary accomplishments on the court.

And lastly, LeBron James. I don't watch basketball and I don't know much about LeBron except that he has fantastic stats along with a rather poor attitude toward sportsmanship, refusing, for instance, to congratulate his opponents when he loses. Sportsmanship, however, is an important part of being an admirable athlete.

To me, their actions preclude these three from being named Male Athlete of the Year despite their indisputable talent in their individual sports. Some behavior excepts you from certain honors, despite your achievements in your field.

Presidents, for instance. We impeached a president for having oral sex. Bill Clinton might very well go down in the history books as an excellent president. In fact, I expect he will. But I doubt he'll be having many schools or airports named after him any time soon because of his extracurricular failings.

Same with Kobe, Michael and LeBron.

Meanwhile, we have Jimmie, a sportsman both on and off the track. He's humble in victory and gracious in defeat. His reputation is that he's a clean driver. He pushes hard to win but he won't dump another driver to do it. There has never been a breath of scandal about his personal life. Much of his spare time is spent raising funds for his own charitable organization, the Jimmie Johnson Foundation, as well as others.

If by "Athlete of the Year", we only go by statistics, then these four athletes are probably pretty evenly matched but if we include personal integrity as part of being a superior athlete, then it's no contest. Winner - Jimmie.

All Michael, All the Time

The news this morning on Morning Joe was non-stop Michael Jackson. I got in my car, where the Sirius radio is permanently tuned to the NASCAR station, gratefully believing I'd escape from Jackson-mania but low and behold, even the Morning Drive hosts were stuck on celebrating the life and times of the King of Pop.

On both t.v. and radio, the coverage verged on reverent. I heard effusive testimonials from friends and fans. People who said they would always remember where they were when they heard of his death (a la John F Kennedy's assassination). People who said that the release of the Thriller album was a defining moment in their lives. People who were so beset by grief (Elizabeth Taylor) they couldn't even make a statement. I heard people call Michael "the first Obama" because he "transcended the race barrier". I heard from people who believe him to be the entertainment icon of their generation. To be adored, admired, hero-worshipped.

The one thing all these people forgot to say or glossed over or chose to ignore was the inalterable fact that Michael Jackson was a freak. They pretended they didn't notice the bleached white Michael Jackson with the leper nose and the grossly inflated lips. The masked Micheal. The Michael who appeared in court clad in pajamas. The Michael who slept in a germ-free, air-cleansed module. The Micheal who lived in a fairy tale world of zoo animals and merry-go-rounds.

The Michael Jackson who, acquitted or not, obviously had a perverse and perverted relationship with children, even his own.

The Michael Jackson who we always suspected, and now know, had an equally perverse and perverted attachment to chemicals of various kinds.

It's not that unusual for creativity to morph into monstrosity. Remember the fat and drugged out man who once was Elvis. Remember John and Yoko Lennon and their naked craziness.

But Elvis harmed only himself. And the same with Lennon.

Does fantastic talent, which no one would ever deny Michael Jackson, really excuse every other failing, up to and including the harming of children? Someone once said that "you can't be insane if you are rich enough". Evidentally, you can't be guilty if you are celebrity enough either. Michael was a rich celebrity which is probably the only reason he wasn't institutionalized, either in a mental health care facility or a prison.

He died of cardiac arrest but it appears now that it may have been drug induced. Sorry but Michael Jackson, despite his success as an entertainer, has neither my admiration my respect. I found him pathetic. I won't be lighting any candles or leaving any wreathes.

As the World Turns....

- a sad thing - Farrah Fawcett died today. Farrah was the iconic woman of my generation, a golden girl if ever there was one. She had the best selling poster of her time. Even my son, 10 years old then, had it hanging on his bedroom wall. Ask most of us young women who we most would have liked to look like and it would have been Farrah of the fabulous hair, hair we all tried to emulate but next quite could. She was a Charlie's Angel, a sex object. When she decided to be a serious actress, she was laughed at but she paid her dues and earned her credibility. And earned even more with the courageous way she handled her illness. She stayed beautiful even when chemotherapy took away the hair. Bless you, Farrah, you're still one of my heroines.

- an infuriating thing - Congress is going to totally muck up health care again. What is so freakin' complicated about Medicare for Everyone? Ah, say the Republicans, and even some Democrats, the government can't do business as well as the private sector. Yeah? Is that right? Then how come the insurance companies are doing such a rotten job now (almost 20% paid out for administrative costs) compared to Medicare (3% for administration). Do you supposed it could be because the Medicare honchos don't make $26 million a year like the private CEOs? If you're wealthy and healthy, insurance companies are fine. But if you happen to be poor or sick, you're up the creek. And now Congress wants me to start paying taxes on my health care benefits like they are income. And, force me to buy it (like car insurance) whether I can afford it or not. Tell me how any of this is going to make health care better? Answer: it's not. Congress is going to create another monster, which is one of the things they do best.

- another infuriating thing - On NASCAR Now, Mark Martin was asked what he thought of Kyle Busch (why he was asked this particular question is a whole other issue). His reply - he thinks Kyle is one of the greatest drivers, maybe the best since Jeff Gordon or even Dale Earnhardt. Notice anybody he left out of his list of exalted ones? Yep, that would be his teammate, Jimmie Johnson, just the winner of the last three Sprint Cup championships. Guess old Mark didn't think Jimmie deserved to belong on his group of "greatest". I used to have a deal with my friend, Larry, whose favorite driver Mark is. If he saw Mark couldn't win, he'd root for Jimmie and the same with me. All bets are off now. I'll root for anybody besides Mark. And while we're on the subject, I'm sick of Mark getting so much credit just for being old. Geez, I'm old myself but I don't feel like I should be on a pedastal because of it.

- a good thing - my kids are coming from Florida for the weekend. It will be great to see them. John is always telling me how hot and humid it is in the Keys. Today in Indiana it is 94 degrees and feels like a swamp. Should make them feel right at home.

- another good thing - I got my grant/budget finished and sent to Indianapolis today. One of the best things about being able to retire will be never having to present another budget to my overseers again.

My Luck

I was happy yesterday, for a little while. My mileage reimbursement check came in at work - $355. I already had my Reynolds Oil bill paid so this was extra money, money that wasn't allotted to anything else, money with which I could do anything I chose. I could go to a casino. I could buy a purse. I could make a trip to Heaven on Earth and come home with baskets of Begonias and Petunias and Impatiens. I left Lafayette smiling....until I hit Highway 25.

When I began to feel a serious vibration in the front end of my car. The steering wheel shook. The tire made a persistent, loud "thunkety, thunkety, thunk". I could relate to race car drivers when they shout over their radios, "I think I've got a tire doing down, I'm gonna' have to come to pit road!"

I did as I always do when I have car problems. I sped up to try to get to help faster and turned the radio louder so I can pretend I don't notice the sound of whatever the problem is. I kept my fingers crossed. In this way, I thumped and bumped my way home. With great relief, I saw the "Wabash City Limits" sign come into view. I crept into Friermood Tire, my own personal version of pit road. My friend, Bryan, came out and took a look. He pointed to a huge bulge in my right front tire.

"That didn't happen because of old tires," he told me, "have you hit anything recently?"

"Well," I said, "there was that giant chunk of semi tire, I smacked into going to Florida. It scared me at the time but then I forgot it."

"Going TO Florida," he questioned, "so you've driven approximately 1,000 miles since then? And you didn't notice any vibration until now?"

"Maybe a little."

"Then why didn't you come in and have it checked out sooner?"

"You know how I am about car stuff. I always wait to see if it's going to fix itself first."

"Yeah, I guess you thought your oil would change itself too since you're about 7,000 miles overdue."

Long story short. I had my oil changed and got four new tires. Total cost - slightly over $400. So I went from a joyful plus $355 to a dejected $45 in the hole in the space of a couple hours.

Typical.

Should Danica Come to NASCAR?

Rumor has it that Danica Patrick is at least considering making the switch to NASCAR from the Indy Racing League. (Of course, that same rumor floats around every time Danica's contract is close to being up and may be more about salary negotiation than anything else.) If Danica did move over to stock cars, it would be a huge loss for the Indy series and a big gain for NASCAR. Not because Danica would necessarily turn out to be a winning driver in NASCAR, at least, not for a while, but because she is a genuine celebrity and events that depend on public support live or die by their super stars and the sponsor money they are able to attract.

My prediction is that Danica will not leave Indy for NASCAR, at least not in the near term, for three reasons:

1) She's truly making her mark in IRL. Once simply a beautiful sideshow, she has now won a race, is currently ranked fifth in championship points, finished third at the Indianapolis 500 this year. I think she'll want to stay until she wins the 500, the crown jewel of Indy car racing. To leave now would mean cutting short a dream only partially achieved.

2) She is a big frog in the relatively small pond of Indy cars, probably the most recognized name in the series. Granted, she'd get lots of publicity in NASCAR but she'd still be one among many. Her competition for fan adoration would be Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Jimmie Johnson, Dale Earnhardt Jr, Mark Martin, Kyle Busch, Carl Edwards.... Her sex would give her a natural base of support. Lots of men would gravitate to her because she's gorgeous and sexy; lots of women would follow her simply to support one of their own. (Of course, others would dismiss her for the very same reasons). Right now, she has her lilly pad pretty much to herself. She might prefer it that way.

3) To succeed in NASCAR, Danica would most likely have to slide downward into one of the lesser series for a season, maybe ARCA or at least Nationwide, until she got the hang of driving a stock car. Many high performing open wheel drivers have tried to make the transition without a great deal of immediate success including Juan Pablo Montoya, Sam Hornish, A. J. Allmendinger. They are all making progress but it's been a long haul. Patrick Carpentier gave up, although not willingly, as also happened with Dario Franchitti. Max Papis and Scott Speed are both Sprint Cup rookies this year, having come from open wheel, and both are finding it tough going. Now that Danica seems to have hit hit her stride as a race car driver, I seriously doubt if she'd want to drop down in class to start all over.

Events could prove me wrong though. Right now, IRL seems to be in a state of uncertainty, with no one quite knowing where Tony George will end up in the scheme of things. If the league's future looks shaky, that could propel Danica to NASCAR. Or she could simply be offered a deal it would be impossible to refuse by one of the top teams.

I hope she makes the switch. I admire and root for Danica although I'm not a big Indy car afficionado. Her presence would add an extra element of interest and excitement to my favorite sport. I'd admire and root for her in NASCAR too, although, of course, only to come in second - after Jimmie.

Credit Cards

Many clients who come to me about problems with credit card companies. Just recently, one woman spoke with me about a credit card she cut up when she lost her job five years ago. Since then, she's made a payment every month without fail although not on time and not as much as her minimum required. When she quit using her card, she had a balance of approximately $1,800. She now owes almost $2,500 with interest, late fees and penalties. She is being sued by the card company (which I will not name, because it doesn't matter, their unethical practices are all the same). She wrote to the judge to explain her situation and her inability to pay the amount required. The judge notified the card company that they should try to "work with her" considering her circumstances. Instead, they insisted that nothing less than their previous demand was acceptable.

The second woman who captured my heart was elderly, in her eighties. She'd been caught up in one of the scams that are so prevalent on the internet in which, supposedly the perpetrator is unable to access funds in the U.S. In return for extending him money temporarily, he assured her that she'd receive a large payment, $1,000,000. He kept calling, talking her into advancing him more and more until she'd run her credit cards up to over $100,000. She finally, very belatedly, began to wonder if she'd been had and called the police. When I spoke to her, she still didn't seem to accept that she'd been taken advantage of and if she had, she assumed the police would find the con man and get her money back. Because, after all, she said, she'd given them his name and phone number (in a foreign country). I didn't have the heart to tell her that there was no chance the information was true.

This one wasn't strictly the responsibility of the credit card companies. This woman had excellent credit prior to being scammed so they just kept letting her get cash advances without question, one in the amount of $32,000. They knew her age and her previous record of rarely charging her cards up so it seems they would have had to have been aware that something hinky was going on. She didn't stop until she was nothing left to give.

The fact is that the credit card companies have prowled the economic world for years like hungry wolves, preying on their customers, particularly the ones who are least able to avoid being victims - the low-income, the laid-off, the sick, students. They offer an introductory rate that leaps into double digits should a payment be so much as 24 hours late as well as charging an extremely high late fee, even for a first occurrence; they charge higher rates for cash advances, most often used by the poor; they assess a substantial cost to make phone or on-line payments which are, again, mostly likely to be needed by people who have to wait for payday to make their payment; they allow cardholders to exceed their credit limit, then charge large over-limit fees; they allow a very short time between billing and due date and even then, use tricky practices like not crediting a a payment received late in the morning until the following day.

Now Congress has passed and President Obama has signed the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility and Disclosure Act of 2009 putting some limits on what the credit card companies can do to their customers:

• They must disclose the period of time and actual interest it will take to pay off card balances if only minimum payments are made
• A customer must be 60 days late before a penalty can be charged.
• Payments that arrive before 5:00 p.m. must be considered on time.
• Customers must give permission before their credit limit is exceeded.
• Under age applicants must show proof of income or have a co-signer before receiving a credit card.
• If the interest rate is increased because payment is not received until 60 days after the due date, it must go back to the lower rate if payments are made on time for 6 months.
• There can be no charge for on-line or phone payments.

As you can imagine, the credit card companies fought fiercely against this legislation, claiming that their profits were in jeopardy. Now they say they'll have to make the lost money back on their good clients by reinstating annual fees, limiting rewards and beginning to charge interest from the day of purchase instead of allowing a grace period.

The credit card companies hire smart people and pay them lots of money to figure all the angles. They've invented fees the normal person would never think of. They have given cards to people who obviously had no business having them and then when they fall behind, harangue, harass and hound. As a profession, they have probably caused more mental breakdowns than all the others put together, calling people multiple times a day, disturbing them at work, threatening consequences just short of bodily harm. They engage in practices that are clearly unethical and immoral. That they aren't criminal is only due to their ability to influence Congress to let them have their way.

Now they've been reined in a little although they won their biggest fight not to have maximum allowable interest rates instituted. For a while, life will be slightly more fair for their victims but probably not for long. They are probably devising fiendish new ways to rip customers off even as this is being written.

Coming out of Hibernation

I have been in a state of hibernation for quite a while now. Brenda called me a recluse. We used to take a lot of trips together but we've hardly been anywhere for the last year or so. She was unhappy that her traveling companion deserted her. She said she thought it was because of depression but it really wasn't. I was simply involved in other things that kept me home - reading (I've discovered several new authors I love), writing (I just completed a novel) and watching NASCAR (which takes up most of every weekend during the season). Going to Florida to see the kids seemed to reawaken me to the pleasures of journeying again though, that and the fact of reaching a natural pause in my writing. So I promised Brenda that my reclusive persona has been put away and we're going to hit the road again more often.

We started Easter weekend with a trip to Nashville, Indiana, where we spent the night. Nashville is one of our favorite places because of all the little shops, the art galleries, the down home restaurants as well as the sense of timelessness that permeates Nashville despite its commercialism. Brown County is a beautiful part of the state with its wooded hills and grassy valleys and log houses (the most of any county in Indiana) and small towns like Gnaw Bone and Story. Story is a quaint old village caught in a time warp, except that the general store is also a fine restaurant, one not to be passed up if you're in that area. We were lucky to be able to shop in Nashville for homemade candy and leather goods, jewelry and books, rugs and soap in between downpours.

The next day, we set off for the horse racing track at Shelbyville with its new casino. Along the way, we stopped at the Outlet Mall in Edinburgh. Brenda is attending a class for which she was instructed to dress in "office casual". I used to think I knew what office casual meant but for the younger girls, casual is a lot more casual than it used to be. The road we were supposed to take to Shelbyville was closed for road construction. Secure in our ability to find a short cut, (although there is nothing in our past experience that would instill such confidence), we ignored the official detour. Our shortcut ended up taking twice as along as if we'd followed the State Highway's Department's route because we got lost. Neither of us have a sense of direction so once we ended up out in farm country, we hadn't a clue, and just guessed whenever we came to a tee road.

Eventually, we wandered into Shelbyville via the back door and found our way to the casino. Of course, getting lost and arriving late probably saved us money since we had less time to throw our dollars into the slot machines. Perhaps because they are new and they want to encourage return visits, the slots at Shelbyville seemed loose. Of course, I lost all my money in the end anyway but I seemed to lose it more slowly than normal.

I couldn't pass up a visit to the bookstore so we stopped in at Mounds Mall in Anderson where they have a really neat used bookstore. I bought five books there. (New favorite authors: Barry Eisler, Charlie Huston, Andrew Vachss, Tom Cain, Tim Hallinan, William Lashner). My taste in reading has gotten more out of the mainstream than it used to be so I have to order more from Amazon.com.

Brenda was thrilled that she has her old road partner back. We're planning our next trip to Lake Michigan but we're going to wait for the weather to warm up.....if it ever does.

Heroes

If ever our country needed heroes, it is now. We seem to have a collective inferiority complex and no wonder. We're not exactly sure what our place in the world is these days when our lone super-power status is being challenged. We hardly manufacture anything anymore. We'll be lucky if we still have an auto industry left by 2010. India provides our technical support. China sells us our goods (and sometimes poisons us while doing so), while Mexico sells us our drugs (ditto poisoning only in a more deliberate way). The money men scammed even the supposedly smartest of us (i.e., Mort Zuckerman) and are still doing it with our bail-out money. Our economy is in the pit and those of us who still have a job and half-way decent health insurance can consider ourselves lucky. The people we look up to are foolish female celebrities like Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears or the contestants of shows like American Idol and Survivor. No wonder we seem to have lost our way in the 21st century.

And then Somalian pirates highjacked the Maersk Alabama, taking the crew as hostages (which is depressing in itself in that the the world seems to tolerate this type of thuggery with an oh, well shrug as the cost of doing business.) But this time turned out differently. In the first act of heroism, the courageous Captain Richard Phillips offered himself to the pirates in the place of his crew, reminding us that there are still men whose lives are ruled by honor and duty and dignity.

In the second act of heroism, although political versus physical, our president approved the military to do whatever had to be done to rescue the Captain should they determine his safety was in jeopardy. This may not seem like much compared to the Captain Phillips' selfless actions but it actually was because American presidents have been intimidated by the humiliating possibility of rescues gone wrong since Jimmy Carter sent the Special Forces into Iran in an attempt to rescue the hostages there. Those of us who were around then remember that, instead of being given credit for the intent, he was held in contempt for the failure. And then, Somalia again, Blackship Down. Another embarrassment for President Bill Clinton. So it took a high degree of willingness to take political risk for President Obama to say yes, especially considering that he's a Democrat and the liberal wing of his party has little appetite for military adventurism. If the mission had failed, perhaps resulting in the death of the Captain or a miscue on the part of the shooters, you know Barack Obama would have been crucified by the media and both political parties.

Finally, of course, is the military itself, especially the extraordinary Navy SEALs who, in a show of training, skill and will, killed the three pirates with three simultaneous sniper shots, then disappeared back into the nonentity of their positions.

It was because daring, courage, taking responsibility for dangerous decisions are in such short supply in the country today that I have become a NASCAR fan. Granted, racers can't be compared to Navy snipers in the larger scheme of things. For one thing, drivers get gold and glory in return for their fearlessness instead of fading back into the woodwork until we need them again. Soldiers only have the gratitude and admiration of their nation. For them, knowing that we consider them heroes, at a time when we yearn for heroes, must be enough.

A Short Visit to Paradise

Winter was like a visitor who refused to depart although you're so sick of his presence, you can't stand it. You dream of the day he packs up his bags and heads out the front door. He isn't always the most welcome of guests anyway, being frequently demanding and difficult to get along with. You feel this way especially because you know the next time your doorbell rings, it will be Spring standing there. Spring, that smiling, beautiful, young thing - you delight in her company even while acknowledging that she is capable of the occasional tornadic temper tantrum.

It was in the midst of the chilly, damp, depressing dregs of winter that Mom and I made a trip to see the kids where they live now in the Florida Keys. I've been to Florida several times but never to this southernmost part. It is a section of the country that doesn't even have a passing acquaintance with winter.

The Keys have an alien feel for Hoosiers. They are populated by plants you've never seen or heard of. There are the usual palms and palmettos, of course, but beyond that are the gumbo limbo trees, so shiny-barked, they look as if Mother Nature's cleaning crew polishes them every night. There are palm trees with fronds that grow into fan shapes instead of up and down layers. There are trees with limbs that tortuously twist and turn, braiding themselves together. Most of all, are the mysterious mangroves, with their interlocking net of above-water roots, so thick, they create their own islands. Mangrove constructs range from tiny clumps, the size of a breadbox, to vast areas. And, of course, while Indiana remains mired in gray drabness, enormous bougainvillea bushes erupt in explosions of scarlet blossoms in the Keys. Playing counterpoint to the land is the water - ocean on one side, gulf on the other. In some places the finger of land is so narrow, you can see both out of your car windows. And what water it is - turquoise swirled with emerald green swirled with quicksilver. Its so clear, you can watch the angel fish and clown fish and needle fish and barracudas and dolphins and rays swimming beneath the surface. The sky is blue, filled with puffy clouds, along with gulls and herons and egrets and pelicans.

Most of the houses, like the one where John and Lisa live, are as close to living outdoors as it is possible to be. They are built high on pillars with windows all around and screened balconies facing the water side. While we are there, all the windows and balcony doors are open (air conditioning will come later), ceiling fans circle lazily, tiled floors are cool beneath your bare feet. From the hammock on the balcony, you can drift, half-asleep, surrounded by the scent of flowers, the sound of crying gulls and the swish of water against pilings, the feel of a breeze gentle against your skin.

The Keys have a personality too. They are laid-back and tolerant. People flee to the area from other, more up-tight places. Not outlaws necessarily but non-conformists. They want to be left alone to live as they please without criticism or complaint from their neighbors. Most of them are not engaged in whatever an earlier life anticipated for them. Doctors are sailors; accountants are waitresses; lawyers own bars. The Keys provide second chances to do whatever it is you think will make you happy. There are homeless here, some voluntary and some not. Whatever else happens to them, they won't freeze and they won't starve either if they can throw a hook into the water.

In the Keys, you eat fresh fish outdoors looking out across the ocean, and polish your meal off with a piece of Key Lime pie. If you feel like partying, you can travel south to Key West, crossing the awe-inspiring Seven-Mile Bridge. Key West is sort of like a mini-New Orleans. We were there on St Patrick's Day. Bars served green beer and other emerald drinks. Revelers dyed their hair and faces green and wore green clothes and multiple strands of green beads (and probably felt a hungover shade of green by the next morning).

The Keys feature co-existing ethnicities and lifestyles, religions and non-religions, socioeconomic ranges. Residents don't lock their doors or worry about being out alone at night. It seems contradictory for an an area that welcomes the off-beat to have such a low crime rate. Perhaps even criminals take life easier here. Taking life easy seems to be what the Keys are all about and that, in the end, is even better than the weather.

Mom and I hoped that during the two weeks we were gone, Winter would have moved out and Spring moved into Indiana. A week after we got home, it snowed.

Can Only Christians be NASCAR fans?

Every week, I can't help noticing with some irritation, that every NASCAR race opens with a Christian prayer and I always wonder why. Is it that NASCAR officials don't acknowledge any faith but Christianity? Do they not even realize that Jews and Buddhists and Muslims and even atheists can love watching cars race around a track? Do they not know, or is it that they don't care, that foisting any particular religion onto someone who doesn't agree is bad form? Or do they just think, "the hell with you, Christianity is THE religion and if you don't like hearing it, stay the hell away?" Just about every place I go now that offers up a prayer (which none of them would have to do on my account since I prefer to deal with my beliefs privately, thank you very much) at least bows in the direction of equality, either by making the prayer non-denominational or sharing the podium around among purveyors of different faiths.

Not NASCAR though. For NASCAR, it is "in JESUS' name we pray", and that, my friends, is that.

Irony

The first part of the NASCAR season is televised by Fox. Many of the supplemental NASCAR programs appear on SPEED, which is owned by Fox. Fox is, of course, the pet channel of Republicans, particularly conservative Republicans. I assume that also makes Fox the preferred channel for most of NASCAR nation, which is also known to to lean toward the right politically. One of the issues conservatives take very much to heart is the Second Amendment, which they believe should be interpreted as all Americans' right to bear arms if they so choose. It so happens that although my political home is more toward the mushy middle, I love my guns and my constitutional right to have them.

Imagine my shock then when I heard on my Sirius radio that Johnny Benson's team, Red Horse Racing, part of NASCAR's Camping World Truck series, had been offered a sponsorship from a firearms manufacturer but that the deal fell through because Speed TV has a policy against advertising that promotes guns.

On the same show, another team owner (I didn't catch his name) called in to confirm this astonishing information. He too had once had a promising relationship with Glock until informed by SPEED, Fox and ABC that they would censor his vehicle if it appeared on the race track with Glock's logo on the side.

This comes at a critical time when team owners need all the help they can get with sponsorship? The caller said that Glock was pleased with their initial research about advertising via NASCAR. The exposure for each dollar invested was extremely high. They would certainly be happy to maintain that partnership, except for the prejudice against them on the part of television.

How can this possibly be, coming from a channel that doesn't hesitate to get on its high horse about any suggestion of liberal bias? This was the channel that fell at the feet of the moose-hunting Governor Palin. The one that adores iconic figures like Charlton Heston, actor and former head of the National Rifle Association.

And where is the N.R.A. anyway? Geez, they practically foam at the mouth over the merest mention of the mildest forms of gun control. Background checks? No way! Closing the gun show loop hole? Never! Banning assault weapons? Over our dead bodies! But, Fox and its sister network, censor legal advertising of legal weapons on race cars and you don't hear a peep out of them?

Where are all the rowdy, good old boy, gun-totin' rednecks who love huntin' and fishin' and beatin' and bangin'? Shouldn't they be protesting this outrageous decision on the part of Fox and SPEED (forget ABC - they are probably too far gone for salvation)? Shouldn't they be threatening to boycott Fox and Speed and flooding their corporate offices with indignant e-mails and contacting Rush Limbaugh to insist that Rupert and Fox and Speed grow a backbone? What the heck is wrong with these people anyway? Just when there is finally an issue on which I'd be ready to man the battlements with them, they wimp out on me?